How to kill a 'Mockingbird'

Well I'm not actually going to kill a real mockingbird, Iv never seen a mocking bird, I'm not sure what a mockingbird looks like. I assume how it got its name though is because it carefully chooses a weak victim, perches itself at its victims window each night and mercilessly mocks its victim with nasty hurtful comments. Taunting him in his sleep, infiltrating his victims subconscious. A very dangerous bird!

My mocking bird is more a metaphorical name for the (f**king) rooster next door. I'm sure this rooster has stood at my bedroom window with a little notepad, peering inside noting and recording my sleeping habits. The chickens in his coop must be really old, boring and bad roots because he has nothing better to do and finds it quite funny to f**k with my mind when I'm trying to sleep.

He has noted that Luca gets up at 7am to get ready for work, he has also noted that i like to sleep, also noting that i am woken up every morning by Luca, noting also that after Luca leaves for work i like to go back to sleep for a couple of hours because i read late into the night.....This is one clever bird. He pays attention and is very precise.

He starts his noise assault pretty early, around 4am. He warms up for a couple of hours before the games begin. Just before i am woken up by Luca....he stops. Luring me into this false sense of peace and quiet. The precise moment Luca leaves the bedroom and i lay my head back on the pillow to commence my beloved sleep....COCK - A -F**KING - DOODLE - DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. And this is no normal rooster sound. His voice is like the sound of rusty old brakes of a semitrailer being slammed on to miss hitting a cat, but they don't stop in time and run over the cat and then the sound of the screeching rusty old brakes and the screeching cat combine together to make this god awful sound!

Early one morning his constant noise actually infiltrated my dream. In my dream i was watching this weird looking woman (who i didnt know) and she was just standing there screaming the same god awful blood curdling sound.....disturbing enough to wake me up. As i began to wake up i realised the woman in my dream was making the same sound of the rooster or the rooster was making the same sound as the woman...Confusing for so early in the morning.
I had been clever enough to get myself some back-up...EARPLUGS! but i couldn't find my earplugs this particular morning. They were not in there normal spot on the bed side table behind the photo frame. So i got up and fumbled around the room in the dark like a drunk, blind seal trying to find them....but alas...it was to late, i was starting to wake up, and then....i was awake! DAMN IT! It was at this very moment, as i stood in the dark bedroom with a scowl on my pillow lined, scrunched up face, totally defeated as the rooster continued calling...HA HA.... I FREAKEN GOT YOU AGAIN...I ROCK...HA HA....that i decided i want to kill this merciless bird that continues to mock me.....

Well mock me all you like little bird because even though i don't know how to kill a 'mocking bird', I'm bigger and smarter than you. I have ten digits and opposable thumbs, can use a keyboard and know that if i type in 'HOW TO KILL A ROOSTER' into google that it will give me a long list of very precise instructions.....